you asked…PART 1

When I posted about the open forum, a friend of mine asked me if I woke up looking for a fight–ha! Definitely was not my intention or the mood I was in (although I totally see where she was coming from). And it’s not really so much I care about what other people think of us or our decisions, although it would be nice to think every single person on this planet thought of our choice as great. I am not so disillusioned to think so.  I was very, very pleasantly surprised at how many people are so thrilled for us and cannot even begin to tell you how every, single kind and encouraging comment is appreciated, and at times, needed.

Truly I feel at this point with #5 people just have to be wondering what IS our philosophy on children. And because I have been on a journey of my own–WE have been on a journey of what we believe–I just felt like being vulnerable. So…here goes! In order”

Question #1 from Grammy Dot (who in NO way shows any personal bias, I am sure 🙂

Are you as anxious as we are for this new arrival to be here so we can hold him/her?????

YES!  Anxious is a great word because it can mean either eager or worried 🙂  I am EAGER to know what this baby is, know him/her, see how he/she fits into our family.  WORRIED because really, people, does anyone LIKE labor?  And when it comes a little closer together than the last couple, yeah, let’s just say I randomly shudder at least once a day at the thought.

But yes, Grammy Dot, cannot wait for the end of Oct./beginning of Nov.

Question # 2 from Maimee (aka Aunt Aimee–again no personal bias)

my only question is why it took so long to have another one on the way…

Isn’t she funny??  But I will use her jest to offer you a family age breakdown:

  1. Zoe born August 6, 2002
  2. Judah born 15 months later, November 14, 2003
  3. Shiloh born a little under three years later, September 29, 2006.
  4. Olive born 2 1/2 years later March 5, 2009.
  5. Baby # 5 due 20 months after Olive.

Question # 3 from Kim (sweet & awesome college roommate and friend)

Was this a surprise?

First of all, congrats to Kim who is pregnant again and due in September!!  Yay!

Onto the question…always a tricky one in the Skipper household.  I think we’re always a little surprised–but probably shouldn’t be considering we haven’t tried to prevent pregnancy since I got pregnant with Shiloh.  Here’s the whole story on that.

After much soul searching and prayer before BJ & I got married, we made the decision to not use the birth control pill as a contraceptive.  This could be a whole other blog series in itself, but basically we believe it not only at times prevents pregnancy but can end an “accidental” pregnancy early on.  So we really weren’t trying to prevent or try from the time we got married in May 2001 until Judah was born in November 2003.  And we had two sweet babies 15 months apart.  And Momma was a little stressed out 🙂  Truly, would not for ONE second change how close they are in age and since then have prayed we’d have an age gap like that one because it is so awesome.  However, to pretend like it was easy would be a lie.  And we had no money, both children were born under Medicaid and there was a lot of shame in that.  I don’t think there needs to be, again, just being honest.

After that, I was in freak out mode thinking about getting pregnant and we tried to prevent until October of 2005.  During that month my sister & brother in law lost their first baby, Micaiah Rose.  She was born stillborn at 28 weeks. I would say single-handedly the saddest day in mine & BJ’s life.  After experiencing two babies of our own, we could only pretend to imagine what their loss was like.  And God used that moment to speak so clearly to my heart, basically saying, “how do you know the timing that would be best for you to have a baby?  trust me.”  That moment of them losing her was very profound in my soul and in our path with babies.

So Kim, we weren’t planning and we weren’t planning not to.

This post is looking a little wordy, I think I might split it up into two..or three!

Question #4 from Mom (wow, there’s so little bias in who reads this blog)

I’ll ask a question that I’m pretty sure I know how you will answer, but will ask it for the benefit of others. Do you think everyone should have as many babies as they can, using no contraception or methods to prevent pregnancy?

Yikes, Debi!  Way to dive in!  JK.  Ah man, such a long and drawn out question.  I think I’m going to devote an entire post to this one.  Come back for Part 2:  Mom’s question 🙂  Seriously…

Question #5 from Marilyn

My only ? is why do you care what others think about you having baby #5???

I think I answered that one in paragraph one 🙂  Love you Marilyn and your bluntness!

Question #6 from Sarah (BJ’s cousin who has stellar fashion sense)

My only question is will you use a midwife again?

I love this question.  Wow, our homebirth experience was so amazing.  I just revisited it again with Olive’s birth story.  Definitely an amazing time.  I feel so strongly homebirth is safe given you have an attending midwife, you are a good canidate for homebirth and your prenatal care is excellent.  I also feel like you can have a hospital birth where you basically tell everyone to leave you the heck alone and can experience a natural labor.  But man, it doesn’t even touch to the experience of the homebirth. BJ & I have chose with every pregnancy now since Olive, we will just pray about it and see where God leads us.  We are leaning towards a homebirth with this one and yet we’ll just see where God’s leading.  I’m not a die hard, you MUST have a homebirth proponent.  But I would also show the facts to anyone who tried to say making that choice is not using wisdom or is being unsafe.  And as a random sidenote, even up until the very end of Olive’s pregnancy, I just prayed God would keep me humble and if for any reason I felt like I shouldn’t do a homebirth, that we would chuck it all and pack my little bag and drive to the hospital, no matter what I had “planned”.  Having my fourth baby at home was very vulnerable to me because it felt like many people were new to the idea and were watching and waiting to see how it all transpired.

Question # 7 from Audrey (sweet sista of mine)

I want to know how many retarded people you think will ask you some dumb question like “Don’t you know how babies are made?!” ? Or maybe I’ll ask you– how many people do you think I’ll have to beat up because they make some snide comment about having a large family? Or maybe I’ll ask–do you think I can ever be as good a Momma as you?

Ah, I love you, Aud!  Never knew we were so much alike.  Okay, there will definitely be a handfull of people who ignorantly ask me don’t we know how babies are made.  For the record, yes, we do.  And I’m pretty sure we’re fast approaching Zoe & Judah knowing too considering all this baby talk!

And there will definitely be people who turn their noses up and question our ability to provide for “all these children”.  And you know what, the provision question is totally understandable.  It’s something BJ & I don’t take lightly.  But we also have learned and been forcibly taught 🙂 that the hand of provision isn’t BJ’s.  It’s Jehovah-Jireh Genesis 22:14

Finally, surely you know me well enough to know I’m gonna hurt you for asking about being a “good momma like me”–ha!  I’ve been too real with you for that one friend.  All I can say is that I pray, pray, pray that in spite of our flaws, our children know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are deeply loved as individuals and they know to the core they were created for life and purpose in Jesus.  I’m sure our kids are going to miss out on something from me because of the number of children we have.  But I also just have to believe they are receiving something much greater in life than really I as a human could ever give them.

Question #8 from Sarah

Hey Aubin, I was wondering how you manage to get back into such great shape and have such energy after each pregnancy? What is your secret!?

Did you really just ask that?  Too, too kind!  I will first say I’ve never thought of myself as someone who is in great shape and my committed friends who workout like good little people will probably attest to that!  But in all seriousness, I’ll answer.  I have gained approximately the same amount of weight each pregnancy (30-35 lbs.) and by the time I’ve gotten pregnant again, it’s been lost.  Not because I workout, because unfortunately, I don’t (hand slap myself).  I think the busyness of life, breastfeeding, being blessed with good metabolism from my mom and the fact that generally speaking, I eat well all work together.   And I do tend to crave foods with vinegar that, shall we say, cleanse the system??!!   I will say for all my Coke fans out there (holler!) one time I did a Coke fast and lost 10 pounds!!  NO LIE.  I still drink it, though (hand slap again).  But not as much now that I’m pregnant.  Ah not to worry, the addiction picks RIGHT back up after birth.

Energy?  I have significantly less energy now that I’m pregnant again and I wasn’t starting with much 🙂  Probably why I should be working out.  Actually, I am going to be meeting with our naturopathic doctor in the next couple of weeks just to see in what ways I could be boosting my energy.  There’s a lot to be done in the Skipper household every day and I would love to have more energy.

I do probably have a good energy level, though, so I shouldn’t complain.  We could all just use some more, right??

And now questions from facebook friends.

Question #9 from bethany

It seems like everytime you get pregnant annie gets pregnant or vice versa!  weird!  have you noticed that?

Annie had Timmy in February, I had Olive in March.  She’s a few weeks ahead of me in this pregnancy with her 8th!  I guess we’re just on a good schedule.  It definitely makes it fun.

Question ?10 from Leslie

Ok, my question….do you use regular diapers…if so what size?? Ha ha! Congratulations

Wow!  Were you asking if I personally wear diapers??  That’s hilarious.  No, we’re not to that point yet.  There was joking there, I know 🙂

All right, that’s it for now.  Part 2 will be the big follow up where I get to soul searchingly answer Mom’s big question.  Thanks to all who care enough to read a post of mine that includes no pictures–ah!!

7 thoughts on “you asked…PART 1

  1. apparently i have 2 more cents to add as i can’t get your post out of my head. i just wanted to say i really respect your walk. lately, i’ve been reflecting on how our culture is totally backwards whenyou compare it to when the world first began and how what God calls valuable…is backwards in todays world.

    children are an inheritance from the Lord and the fruit of the womb is her reward. there is no shame in that. and if it comes from the Lord — it must be GOOD.

  2. As a mother of 5, I have lived what you are living. At least to a point. I will never forget when people found out I was pregnant with Johnnea (our 5th) and a woman came up to me in the post office and just shook her head and made an unfriendly noise!! It was soooo irritating, but NONE of her business! (At least I’m not bitter!! lol Maybe ought to revisit that!!) Daniel and I were not asking anyone else to provide for our family. It was always the desire of my heart to have a large family. We would have probably had 1-2 more had I not just turned 36 and the last pregnancy had a few medical issues. It was the toughest decision of my life to know we wouldn’t be having anymore children. I LOVE babies and I totally adore my children. Our children have been the biggest blessing, besides salvation, that God could have given us.
    I choose not to work full time when our kids were little. I had decided there was nothing I could buy that would ever be able to replace my babies first smile, first step, or first word that I would have missed. This is in NO way a judgement for anyone who has chosen to work, it was just my heart. Those things belonged to me!!
    Aubin, I am in awe of your heart for motherhood, for the obvious godly inheritance that you are placing within each of your babies, and for your willingness to just follow God in these decisions. You and BJ are doing an awesome job. I believe that God calls each of us to different things. For some of us, it is parenthood!! I saw, and still see, that as my highest calling!!!! I LOVE the line in the movie, Cheaper By the Dozen, when Steve Martin says something like, “No matter what I accomplish in life, if I fail at raising my kids, then I have failed.” I couldn’t agree more!! Keep up the good work. I didn’t mean for this to go on for so long, but you know me!! I love and appreciate you and your family sooooo much!! I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you with this baby. Of course, that’s another whole post, the differences in each of the babies that God blesses you with!! SO much fun!!

  3. Congratulations Aubin! I think it’s wonderful that you are having another baby. I think it says a lot about you and your husband–that you live out what you believe. Commendable. And i liked what one person said in the comments about our world being turned so upside down in what we value. I’ve only had one so far, but i know she is making me way less self centered and way more of a servant–i think that’s what families are supposed to do in our personal journeys–make them a little less personal (as in all about me). It’s very counterculture and very beautiful!

  4. Pingback: Part 2 «

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