warrior son

This might be the first post I’ve written that really stirs something very deeply within me.  Here is a picture of our little man, Judah.

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He’s five and his prayer request when I ask him how I can pray for him is that he would grow up to be a knight.  To him, it’s real.  He’s not pretending, with everything within him, it’s all he wants to be.  He fights swords with his daddy; he defends his sisters from the “evil bad guy” (aka Daddy!); he has all the Narnia swords and refers to anyone on the “other team” (including the opposite ball game team) the “bad guys”.  He is in the middle of his battle and everyone around him has a part to play.

Knights were trained as warriors.  What exactly is a warrior?  According to dictionary.com he is:

war⋅ri⋅or

1. a person engaged or experienced in warfare; soldier.
2.a person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage, or aggressiveness..

And I loved this quote I stumbled across online:

You may be thinking right now that I am crazy for using Spartan Warrior within Christianity, but read the entire piece before passing judgment.  Spartan Warriors were fierce fighters.  They would fight to the death for their family, king, and kingdom.  They were ruthless and unconventional in their process and training.  However, my research on Spartan Warriors turned up better qualities for these fighters that many of us as Christian men need to pay attention to. These warriors were trained from the very young age of 7 to be fierce in battle.  The meaning of Spartan is to be “totally devoted to one cause, self-deprived or stripped down to nothing, but the bare essentials, undoubting and courageous”.  They were trained to give their lives without hesitation.  These warriors did not think anything about danger and always expected to win or die trying to win.  These were dreaded men in battle.

(excerpt above taken from here)

The Bible isn’t lacking scriptures referring to the Christian as a warrior–check out these verses:

Exodus 15:3
The LORD is a Warrior; The LORD is His name.

Judges 6:12
The angel of the LORD appeared to him and said to him,”The LORD is with you, O valiant warrior.”

Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.

“Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth”
–Psalm 127:4

So what is my point?  What does this mean coming from a mother of a son?   What stirs my passion about sons?  Don’t you have two daughters?, you ask.   We do and I love them dearly and am thrilled beyond words we get to experience what it means to parent daughters.  But the attack on femininity is for another post.  This one is about boyhood.

What do I see?  I see moms who give “that look” to the boy that is running around the room.  They talk about how “wild” they are, why won’t they settle down?  I’m sure it comes from some dads as well, but I’m referring to what I know most about.  We want Christian men who will lead their families boldly and strongly when they’re adults, yet we’re not comfortable with a boy being a boy.  Can a boy who is trained to act like a girl completely flip around in adulthood?  Probably not and most definitely not easily.  It starts when they are YOUNG.

Please hear me–I am not not saying boys should be disrespectful, rude or be allowed to break all the rules.  Quite the opposite.  But there has GOT TO BE an outlet.  I challenge you to stop and be truly honest with yourself–what is your view of a boy?  What goes through your mind when your little girl is playing with a doll quietly in the corner and your friends’ son is swinging the yard stick like a sword?  Are you okay with that?  More than being okay–does your heart fill with excitement for battle training he is engaging in?

See, I probably could’ve gone either way with this one, so I’m not judging.  I have had the honor of watching my best friend and her husband raise sons who are free to be who God made them to be–and I have been deeply impacted by their training.  I could’ve easily been the kind of mom who said “no violent weapons in this house”–but God chose to let me see it a different way and that’s what I’m challening you to do.

People ask me if we want this baby to be a boy or a girl.  If you know me, you know there’s a rebel in me.  I am trying to let God shape that part of me, but it’s still there.  I want a boy for a number of reasons.  I’m ready to do the boy thing again, I want Judah to have a brother.  But there is that part of me that wants a boy because I’m not convinced most people really do.  I could be wrong–I hope I am.  But you’re reading my blog, so I get to say what I want (and apologize later if need be!).

HOWEVER, we will be thrilled with a little girl.  WE LOVE OUR GIRLS!  We are doing everything we can to train them up in grace and Godliness that reflects all the God intended for women.  I just think most people are more comfortable with that picture.  And on the other side of that, you may have a son who doesn’t naturally possess all of those traits I mentioned earlier; he may be more artistic, more intellectual, more of a thinker.  I am by no means saying that every boy is the same–I am strictly speaking right now to a specific group of people (unknown by me but I’m just feeling led) about a specific view of boys.  It doesn’t make your son any less boyish, any less destined to be a warrior

So take a little big of time today and reflect on the boys in your life.  Thank God for the little guys in front of you who are training to be strong, Godly men, not afraid to lead their families and fight the battle that rages before them.



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13 thoughts on “warrior son

  1. Becky encouarged me to read Dobson’s Bringing Up Boys several years ago and it really made me think a lot. There was so much in the book that I agreed with and more still that made me think and re-evaluate what I thought before. I think so many people don’t see the middle ground. They think boys have to be wild, rude, and out of control OR they have to be quiet, well-mannered, and calm. Boys need to be boys. They need to have times to run wild and get dirty and fight the bad guys. At the same time they need to be taught the awesome responsibilty of protecting others and respect. Wow, this could be a LONG reply so I’ll leave it at this: I’m with ya!!

  2. as a mom to a boy, i was very interested in your post. when i was pregnant with cooper i found myself wishing so much for a girl that it almost hurt. i prayed for it all the time and the night before my sonogram, i woke up and GOD placed this calm in my heart and i KNEW it would be a boy and i found myself alright with it. from that moment on, i have treasured being a mom to my little man even though it is challenging but i am so BLESSED to have so many girlfriends who are mommies of little boys. they are different. GOD MADE them different.
    thank you aubin for your post. it has hit a special place in my heart.
    p.s. i hope you have a boy too.

  3. Thanks for the encouraging words! I love being the mom of a little boy (5 months) and have even told people that I would love to have another one. Mike and I want to raise Will to be “a man after God’s own heart”. (Wasn’t David a warrior fighting Goliath?) Its nice to know of and hear from moms who are raising their sons the way we want to. You and your “friend” are great role models and I respect the way you both are raising your sons, Mike and I are learning from both of your examples. I hope Judah gets a brother, but I’m sure he will love a new sister as well. We miss you in GA!

  4. I’m usually not a blog reader, but Whitney told me I had to read it today. I hope more and more moms and dads can grab ahold of this. Ever since I read Wild at Heart a few years back, this has been my heart’s desire in raising our boy(s), even before we had him(them). (I hope we have more) Eldredge writes that “every little boy has dreams, big dreams, dreams of being the hero, of beating the bad guys, of doing daring feats and rescuing the damsel in distress.” God’s design is for boys/men to be fierce, wild, and passionate just like the Wild One whose image we bear. Instead of telling our boys don’t do this or don’t do that we need to be telling them YOU CAN DO IT, BUDDY…….YOU’VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES! Great post Aubin.

  5. Amen, sister! Beautifully written.I love to read something with so much heart! Men after God’s own heart, are the ultimate warriors.

  6. Beautiful. Creating Warriors is my life’s calling and passion. I love your little wild man – I miss watching him grow up!

    May God bless our boys and turn them into great men and mighty warriors of great reknown – as they make HIM known, wherever God takes them in life!

  7. very cool post aubin. i am forwarding to my sis in law. she is the blessed mama to 3 adorable little “knights”. i know she will identify with your post.

  8. I don’t know anything about blog etiquette, or if I just spelled that right, but that’s my wife and she rocks. One of my favorite word pictures of God was by C.S. Lewis – “He’s not a tame Lion.” The grace and gentleness of the daughters of God cannot exist without the contrast of His fierceness. Keep up the good work baby!

  9. okay, wow, I just realized that BJ wrote the above comment. How sweet is that? (obviously the blog etiquette might need some work since it looks like I wrote it about myself 🙂 but, hey, who cares, right?! Thanks BJ!

  10. Aubin, I know this was awhile ago but thank you for sharing. I have only been around girls for the past few years and had forgotten how speical boys are! You have opened my eyes, truly! We do not have kids yet but when I sew and plan, girls come naturally to me (probably exposure). Thank you again I will keep this with me. Kerry

  11. Just read this over a year later…love this blog, Aubin. Was posted before I was “keeping track” or I just missed it…not sure. Love it!
    I desperately, earnestly, prayerfully desire for our only son (at this point only) to grow up as a fierce, passionate man of GOD–fierce and passionate for HIM and HIS glory…and willing to fight for Him, and for his family and his wife–to defend the cause of the widow, the fatherless, the LORD.
    Inspiring. Thanks for writing.
    love, aud

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